It’s summer time in comicbookland, and you know what that means. It’s time for the “Big Events,” and what’s bigger this year than DC Comics’ Identity Crisis? Well, I guess if you’re a Marvel type person, it could be their Identity Disc (isn’t that catchy?), but I’m going with Identity Crisis. Well, at least until Batman: War Games comes out later this year. Oh, you know what I mean.

There’s much speculation about who the figure in the coffin is on the Identity Crisis#1 cover - the murder that sets Meltzer and Morales’ “Murder Mystery” in motion. Many are speculating, from hints in interviews, articles, and solicitation text that it may in fact be none other than longtime JLA Ally Snapper Carr - one of the pivotal figures in the early years of the Justice League. With what I’ve read, I’m going to give some credence to this assumption, but you know what? I’m not going to stand for it! In DC fan tradition, I am going to start my own group to make sure that DC knows how I feel.

I propose we band together and start

S.N.A.T.C.H

“Snapper’s New Appreciation Team for Carr’s Health”

The goal is to restore Snapper Carr to his rightful place as eternally annoying sidekick to the JLA so that folks can once again say “Why the hell do they let that kid who snaps when he likes something hang out with them?” “What is his purpose, anyway?” “Didn’t he, like, reveal their hideout to the Joker once?” Without Snapper, the JLA is just squareseville, Daddy-O.

Our motto - “DC Editors can’t ignore S.N.A.T.C.H.”

The Guidelines:

1. Whine whenever possible about absence of Snapper Carr character. Remember, women love a man with convictions.

2. Pretend that you actually “cared all along,” even though you hadn’t given him second thought in 10 years and didn’t actually buy Young Justice - the last title he was prominently featured in.

3. Send threatening letters to the DC Editors claiming to boycott all new DC titles. Hell, just send them threatening letters, period - they’ll understand.

4. Remember to call your retailer and have him add “Identity Crisis” to your pull list - also remember to bitch him out for not saving you alternate Superman/Batman cover.

5. Discuss ad nauseum how comics were better in the “Good old Days” when a teen sidekick really meant something.

6. Include our official signature - “I love S.N.A.T.C.H - Give me some Snapper!” in all of your message boards posts - comic related or otherwise.

Eric Haar
President and founder of S.N.A.T.C.H
I love S.N.A.T.C.H - Give me some Snapper!

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