Common sense would dictate this flick would’ve been a better bet for the studio about 17-20 years ago, but what do I know — maybe they’re trying to reignite interest in the character…? I’m not even sure if the character is, like Steve mentions, a “cultural touchstone” anymore; but then again, we’re not here to discuss the national embarrasment that is our nation’s funny pages.

The Stars: Obviously, the wild card for this whole deal is Bill Murray, a classy, daring, intelligent, and genuinely talented actor/comedian coming off the role of a lifetime. Can he make “Garfield” actually palatable? Did they leave room for him to improvise at all? How did they get him to actually be in this movie?!? Someone let me know, because I ain’t paying to see a movie with Breckin Meyer and Carson Daly’s old floozy without some quality hijinks. Influence: Minor, but in a confusing way.

The Director: I completely agree with Steve: If it was a proven talent, I figure the ads would’ve said so by now. And if the guy’s the next Spielberg and this movie is surprisingly amazing, more power to him. Influence: Zero.

The Geek Factor: If you are a Garfield geek — an unironic Garfield geek — I’m sorry for you. Influence: Unlikely.

The Buzz: I heard that dude who fell into a coma in 1985 and just woke up is DYING to see this. Influence: Huge — there’s a lot of buzz, and it’s all negative.

The Marketing: Garfield was overhyped almost two decades ago, and those who were old enough to remember still feel the sting of those asinine stuffed toys that stuck to your car window. Now we’ve got to deal with a preview that rehashes old jokes staler than bread from the Last Supper! ZING. Seriously, oh, look! He’s acting like Elvis! Ha ha FUNNY. Influence: Sour.

The Quality: Again, I have to agree with Steve. Garfield himself looks pretty good. Better than Scooby, at least. But other than that, I haven’t seen anything signalling this is nothing less than a simple-minded and predictable rehash of a thousand other movies. And why is Odie a real dog? I don’t get it. Wait…maybe it’s actually really sharp and they’re marketing it to the wrong audience… Haw haw. Influence: Painful.

The Competition: With “Shrek,” “Harry Potter,” and “Day After Tomorrow” still raking it in, and steep competition from “Riddick” and my early favorite for Your Parents Favorite Movie of the Summer, “Stepford Wives,” the old lasgna fetishist doesn’t seem to stand a chance. I don’t know too many kids, but I doubt many of them give a crap about Garfield. Influence: A bad, bad scene.

My Predikshun: Because people are crazy and feel like they need to spend money, I’m going to guess “Garfield” pulls in around $10 mill its first weekend, and make its way to eventually around $20-$25 million. Seriously, I could’ve sworn I read somwhere that “Garfield” is huge overseas — especially in France. Maybe they’re hoping to cash in over there.

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