Box Office BS: Catwoman

Author: Britt Schramm July 16th, 2004

You would think that with the initial BS, I would rule the Summer Movie Predikshuns like Tony kills on “Toss Up” but I guess that’s why we call the flicks. I just wish I would win one of these things. Bitching aside, here’s my take on Catwoman:

The Stars: Halle Berry, when not barring it all, is not a big draw (Hello, Gothika). With a washed up Sharon Stone and Benjamin Bratt giving looks like he’s gonna kill his agent, the star wattage for this one is severly lacking. Influence: Minimal

The Director: Director? There was one? You mean that this movie didn’t shoot itself. Influence: Zero

The Geek Factor: Catwoman, if done properly, would actually bring all of the geeks in as well as all of the S&M lovers. This is not Catwoman done properly. Everyone will stay away except for the hard-core ones (and possible Berry stalkers). Influence: Purrrfectly Negative

The Buzz: Oh, this one has buzz alright; it just all bad and in stereo. Influence: So negative that even Carlos Boozer said “Ouch!! That’s bad.”

The Marketing: Did anyone want to be attach to this? And nothing I’ve seen on TV or in print has sold me on this stinker. Influence: Nada

The Quality: Bwhahhh!! Extra Cheese please. Influence: Negative, Negative, Negative!

The Competition: Bourne Supremacy, I, Robot, Spidey2, and whatever is on TV. Influence: Another steaming pile of Negativity

My Predikshun: There’s no way that this thing will make more than Punisher on its opening weekend. There’s just no way. So, I’m saying that this bomb will make $12 mil with a total US gross of $35 mil. And just like that, I WIN!!!

Movie/TV

Apple iTunes

Leave a Reply

Box Office BS: Catwoman

Author: Stephen Gerding July 16th, 2004

Let me get it out of the way real quick - everyone knows that this movie is going to be crap. People that work at Warner Brothers have been scared of it’s release for months now, and are praying that it at least has a big opening weekend to try to counter the inevitable box office disaster that’ll follow. With that in mind, let’s roll the dice!

The Stars: Halle Berry’s an Oscar winning actress, so she should be able to rise above the reportedly terrible script at least, right? Shyeah, right - lookit her killer performances in the X-Men flicks. As far as Sharon Stone goes, hardly anyone even knows shes in the movie. Influence: A Joke.

The Director: Who is it? I can’t even be bothered tio look it up on IMDB. Influence: None.

The Geek Factor: This is a tough one. On the one hand, not only is the character and costume completely unrelated to the comic book they’ve “adapted”, but the overwhelming reaction to the outfit has been “that’s freaking terrible.” On the other hand, it does show enough skin that the “lives with mom after 30″ crowd may turn out en messe. Influence: Mostly Negative.

The Buzz: Heh. Heh heh! Hee hee hee heh ha ha ha ha ha HAHAHAHAH!!!! Influence: Take A Guess.

The Marketing: Suprisingly, not bad. Sure the trailers and commercials are unrelentingly cheesy, but there’s enough of Halle’s belly button in them to distract your attention from how horrible the acting and special effects look. Plus, if it’s hammered into your head long enough, anything starts to stick. Influence: Stronger Than You’d Think.

The Quality: Oh, come on. Again, it looks like crap on a stick. Probably the only thing that’s not made better by being on a stick. Influence: Minus A Billion Trillion Zillion.

The Competition: With SM2 still fresh and selling decent amounts of tickets, there’s competition for the superhero market. Plus, Will Smith and I, ROBOT opens a week earlier, and will likely do fairly decent box office. Influence: Up The Creek.

My Predikshun: I’m going with $33 million opening weekend, because, well, people are stupid. Expect a massively sharp drop-off after that, though, with the movie totalling about 65 million by the end of it’s run. Internationally, I really have no clue, so let’s say $55 million total outside of the US.

Movie/TV

Apple iTunes

Leave a Reply