There’s balls and then there’s BALLS. Wizard: The Guide To Price Gouging has BALLZ, with a “Z”. See, Wizard believes that their upcoming issue is so important that comic book websites just can’t wait to tell their readers to run out and buy it, believing that you, the net surfing audience, really believes that anything they print will either not already have been discussed weeks earlier online, or make it online within hours of the issues hitting their subscriber’s mailboxes.
Now, if they wanted to combine this with a contest or something to generate interest, then that’d be one thing. We’re always about getting free stuff to you guys (as evidenced here), but no, that’s not the case. They just want webpeople like us to tell you to buy their shit.
So, here you go. I know you want it – we’re too stupid to figure it out on your own, so thank you Wizard for telling me what our readers want, nay, NEED.
BATMAN BEGINS
You¹re not nearly ready for the June 17 release of ³Batman Begins² until you read Wizard #164¹s Batman Movie Issue, which hits comic stores April 27. We pulled director Christopher Nolan away from his work to give us 16
reasons why this movie will blow fans away‹from star Christian Bale¹s portrayal of Batman to teasing some key plot points to whet your Dark Knight appetite. Also see the step-by-step revival of the Batman franchise, from scrapped scripts to another film byŠJoel Schumacher! Wizard also gives fans a survival guide for any would-be Batmen out there, rates seven actors who breathed life into Gotham¹s protector and pits him against Jessica Simpson and the other big box-office competition this summer.
The entire magazine will also feature the best and worst of Batman¹s world. Make sure you put Wizard #164 on your must-buy list. No Bat-fan should be without it.
Yeah – no bat fan should be without information on Joel Schumacher projects. All the bat-fans I know follow his every move with baited freaking breath. Morons.
MICHAEL CHABON
Which one freaks you out more‹Doctor Octopus checking out Aunt May or turning his amorous attentions on Mary Jane? The latter was part of Pulitzer-Prize winning author Michael Chabon¹s rewrite of the ³Spider-Man 2² script, only parts of which made it to the hit film. Wizard talked to the author about his screenwriting experience on Spider-Man and his first full-length comic in July‹The Escapist #7, featuring a character created in the The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.
To find out more, pick up Wizard #164 when it comes to your local comic
store April 27.
Spider-Man 2? OK, I loved this movie, probably more than I should have, but it’s a year old now. Keep it fresh, Wizard! .
BRUCE CAMPBELL Q&A
Christopher Reeve once helped us believe a man could fly. Bruce Campbell showed us how he could replace his hand with a chainsaw. Wizard #164 brings you a Q&A with the B-movie King, who reminds us of his winning record against Spider-Man and his upcoming projects. Tops on the list is pure Campbell‹the upcoming film, ³The Man with the Screaming Brain,² in which he wrote, directed, produced and starred. You can also get a read on Campbell going Disney in July¹s ³Sky High,² where he plays the gym teacher in a school full of superheroes-in-training. ³Those who can¹t do, teach,² Campbell said. ³Those who can¹t teach, teach gym.²
Find out more of what Campbell has to say when Wizard #164 comes out April
27.
Now this – THIS – might be worth reading. I’ve never read a bad Campbell interview, and if you want to blow 5 or 6 bucks on a Wizard to read this article, I understand. Or, you could just click here and read CBR’s interview with the man for free.
THE NEXT WONDER WOMAN
Who can fill Lynda Carter’s red and gold bustier and be the new woman in Joss Whedon’s life? Find out in Wizard #164 when we give you a look at our list of contenders for the role in Whedon’s Wonder Woman feature film. >From a former nude body-double for Isabella Rossellini to the poisoned girl in “The Sixth Sense,” this list of beauties all feature at least some of the assets necessary to bring the Amazonian Princess to life. We’ll give you the pros and cons, a little trivia and a rating from 1 to 10 on how likely each candidate is. Or you can just look at the pictures, as well as shots of four television actresses dressing up as her.
To see more, pick up Wizard #164 when it hits comic stores April 27.
Great. So Wizard had some intern trawl message boards for pics and fanboy arguments over whose boobies would look best with a golden “W” stretched across them. And now, you can pay for the same information that you may have already posted online months ago!!!
Look, Wizard does, on occasion, have something worthwhile hidden in front of their “price guide”, and I don’t mean to slight anyone that enjoys reading them. Hey, from time to time, I find myself grabbing a copy to while away 30 minutes, but for cripes sake, asking online publications to just blindly run advertisements disguised as press releases? And you could at least use punctuation that’s not gonna revert to numbers when read in email – it really screwed with my spellcheck. That’s just wrong, and I really hope that nobody is stupid enough to…
Aw, crap.
