To be honest, I have no clue if any of you clowns out there really gives a Woodsey the Owl hoot about these lists or not, but hey, a little patented Stan Lee hyperbole never hurt anyone. So, without further ado, here’s the first part of my half-assed, mildly informed two cents on (some of) the pop cultural mishigoss that was 2005. A couple more lists to follow. Stay tuned! If! You! Dare!

Best Graphic Novels/Comics of 2005

As my esteemed colleague Britt has already pointed out below, picking the best comic or graphic novel of the year is a dicey proposition since there are so many different formats that can qualify: original graphic novel, monthly comic, trade hardcover or paperback, blah blah blah. So…I just sort of lumped everything together. Hope you don’t mind.

I actually thought this was a bit of a banner year for the olde graphic lit — lots and lots of good stuff:

1. Epileptic by David B.
Unflinching, surreal, moving, and extraordinary, David B.’s harrowing portrait of how his family deals with his older brother’s crippling epilepsy is a symbol-obsessed, hypnotic, nightmarish coming-of-age tale; a singular work of art; and one of the best graphic novels ever created. Absolutely essential.

2. Grant Morrison
Continuing his bid to be known as one of the most innovative, consistent, entertaining, and maniacal writers on the planet, his high holiness blessed us with many wonders this past year, including an exuberant and enjoyable trilogy of trade paperbacks (the unnerving psycho-da-da saga Seaguy, the startlingly humane and masterful We3, and the flawed but still loose and amiable Vimanarama); the ambitious Seven Soldiers saga; and the very promising first issue of All-Star Superman.

3. Black Hole by Charles Burns
Much has already been said about Black Hole, the IT graphic novel of the year as deemed by whatever amorphous bullshit media cabal decides these kinds of things. And, well, Burns’s beautifully rendered, creepy/sexy/funny Cronenberg-ian, B-movie saga of 1970s-era high school students and a disfiguring venereal disease pretty much deserves all the accolades it gets. I have to admit, my first reaction was the novel was cold and bleak for no discernible reason, and that the ending was abrupt and sloppy — but in the end, I had a really, really tough time shaking Black Hole’s relentless dread and social paranoia.

4. The Push Man and Other Stories by Yoshihiro Tatsumi
Speaking of bleak, to put it mildly, according to Tatsumi apparently not everyone in Japan enjoyed the country’s “economic miracle.” As ahead of its time in terms of graphic lit as Lone Wolf and Cub, Tintin, and The Spirit, Tatsumi’s economical and gruesomely timeless, dirt-caked, sweat-soaked (and sometimes overwrought) tales of repressed sexuality and brutal violence among Japan’s working class are like a series of rabbit punches to your soul. Yep, fun for the whole family! The archival/historical find of the year.

5. Burlyman Entertainment
Rarely does anything created by anyone seem this effortlessly fun. Full of life and ideas and possibility and unpredictability and reckless absurdity, Shaolin Cowboy and Doc Frankenstein were made by talented people enjoying the hell out of themselves.

Honorable mention:
-Paul Moves Out by Michael Rabagliatti: Genuinely loveable and warm-hearted — you root for Rabagliatti’s characters in every panel.
-Top Ten: The 49ers by Alan Moore and Gene Ha: Another pitch-perfect, intelligent, engaging wonder from Moore and Ha.
-Ice Haven by Dan Clowes: An accomplished and somewhat terrifying, layered creation, fascinatingly structured.
-Anywhere But Here by Tori Miki: Inventive and surreal gags comprise what has to be one of the weirdest accessible comic strips ever. You won’t be able to stop reading.
-Night Fisher by R. Kikuo Johnson: This dark tale of crystal meth abuse among Hawaiian high school students is the debut of the year. Johnson is a sharp storyteller, and his artistic instincts are remarkable.

Other exceptional releases: R. Crumb Handbook, Absolute Watchmen, Buddy Does Seattle, The Acme Novelty Library, The Life & Times of Scrooge McDuck, any of the various DC Showcase Volumes, new volumes of The Goon and Walking Dead.

DUDS:
-1602 by Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert: I know this came out ages ago in comic book time, but the trade just came out this year. And WOW — why didn’t someone tell me this was such a pointless, meandering snooze? An exercise in fanboy pandering and excess that should’ve been given the guillotine.

-All-Star Batman & Robin by Frank Miller and Jim Lee: Say what you will about DK2, failure or not, at least it was interesting. I can’t say I’m really sure what Miller is doing here. He’s a highly intelligent artist, so is this a big joke? So adequate and ordinary and unsurprising, anyone could’ve written it. A bore.

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