Andrew’s post about seeing all the Best Picture nominees for a mere thirty bucks is a cool idea, but for those of you without an AMC theater running the promotion nearby, there is an alternative. If you haven’t any qualms about downloading your flicks on the illegal tip, that is. The Pirate Bay has launched OscarTorrents.com, a site with torrent links to just about every movie nominated for an Academy Award this year. I predict they’re gonna be doing a bang-up amount of business over the next few weeks.

To those worried about downloading in case they get sued: by our calculations, your chances of getting nailed are way less than your chances of winning the lottery. Don’t think twice about it.

To all intellectual property landlords: we are aware that OscarTorrents might annoy you — but contain your righteous indignation for a while, and think: we’re only linking to torrents that already exist. Face it: your membrane has burst, and it wasn’t us who burst it. Your precious bodily fluids are escaping.

You haven’t beaten us, so why not join us? Think of a new business model that doesn’t involve overpriced pieces of plastic and skanky cinemas hawking cheap carbohydrates while relying on $6/hr projectionists who can’t keep a film in focus — not to mention insulting your audiences by (to pick a few examples) surveilling us with nightvision glasses, searching bags, 30 minutes of commercials and bombarding us with ridiculous anti-piracy propaganda. Take a look at yourselves. Is it really any wonder we’re winning?

OSCARTORRENTS®, and the OSCAR THE PIRATE® statuette design mark are the unregistered marks of no one in particular. No ©2007. Nothing to do with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences & ABC, Inc. All Rights Reversed. The Official Oscars is a sham produced by villiains in partnership with the cult of celebrity. By accessing this site you’re probably comitting a felony somewhere — but let your own idea of what is right and wrong be your guide.

Spread the word!