I’ll come right out and say I’m not the hugest Transformers guy. It was a fun and nutty TV show about great toys and I never got too obsessed with either and that’s it.

Yet I find myself in a very strange position: highly anticipating Michael Bay’s upcoming movie with irrational glee. In fact, Transformers is the big Hollywood summer extravaganza I’m looking most forward to seeing — even though Bay, who I’ll admit has some talent for spectacle, is the owner of a creative track record that could best be described as “uniformly crummy.”

I’m not on the verge of sleeping overnight in line for tickets or anything. I’m not that kind of cinephile. But I’ve successfully avoided most of the TF trailers and the on-line spoilers and the new toys and message boards and design sketches and all that pre-release hype/bs that kills interest in a flick, and I’m genuinely excited pre-Internet style at this point.

So after a quick, mildly incredulous exchange with Gerding about this subject (”WTF is wrong with you?” were his exact words), here are the 12 reasons I came up with for why I’m absurdly looking forward to Transformers:

1. Giant robots.

2. Giant talking robots.

3. The first two Spider-Man movies weren’t all that great and Spider-Man 3 doesn’t look like anything new.

4. Giant talking robots from space.

5. The Shrek movies are unwatchable.

6. Giant talking robots from space that turn into vehicles.

7. The first Fantastic Four movie was atrocious.

8. Giant talking robots from space that turn into vehicles fighting.

9. The Pirates of the Caribbean movies are bloated gas bags with no sense of style or urgency.

10. Giant robots from space that turn into vehicles fighting each other.

11. Giant robots.

12. From space.

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