One of the main purposes of KFR’s existence is our continuing quest for “good garbage,” which is, in short, any aspect of pop culture that is surprisingly interesting. A movie, song, video game, TV show, comic, piece of graffiti, commercial, or anything that has a bit more going on underneath its disposable exterior.

A great, obvious place to look for this kind of quality trash has historically been B-movies, but there aren’t too many true wide-release low-budget flicks anymore; one of the reasons being that there seems to be fewer workmanlike directors who set out to make a cheap but solid, fun, unassuming flick with some style that doesn’t pretend to be anything else but entertaining. The question arises: where are the Roger Cormans of today? The Budd Boettichers? The Sam Fullers? Are guys like Richard Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino too self-aware to fall into this category?

I don’t want to oversell John Stockwell by putting him up there with that estimable company — he’s not nearly as innovative, artistic, or skilled. But still, he is one of the few working directors that can make a cheap, satisfying entertainment that doesn’t aspire to be anything beyond cheap and satisfying, and benefits from that attitude. That might be damning with faint praise, but at the end of the day, this is the thing: when a movie of his arrives on cable, I inevitably watch it, and inevitably I am surprised to find myself distracted and entertained.

In 20-30 years will the next generation of film nerds be reevaluating Stockwell’s catalog like they do Larry Cohen’s or Mario Bava’s? It’s tough to say. Stockwell’s films are very watchable, commendably economical, briskly edited, appealingly modest, never boring, and not stupid. He makes a legitimate effort to create real movies.

However, they’re also insidiously dopey, crassly commercial, and exist in a world that involves no chest hair and wet hard bodies (mainly women) in skimpy clothing. Then again, his movies seem aware of all this, and maybe that’s part of why they’re so fun to watch. There are much bigger Hollywood movies that are far worse and far more forgettable.

Anyway, let’s evaluate what the former actor — anyone remember My Science Project…? — turned director’s done so far (with the exception of Crazy/Beautiful, which I’ve never seen) using a special ratings scale/checklist we tailor made for this particular piece.

I recommend all three of these movies by the way. They’re above-average weekend afternoon or weekday night distractions. Read about all of ‘em right after the jump.

BLUE CRUSH

How Ludicrous is the Plot?:
So-so. Essentially this is an Underdog Comeback Sports Movie — albeit, it’s a bit more realistic and uncompromising than most. There’s some actual writing and characterization involved, which is a nice surprise. It gets soapy in parts, but believably so. Although three very attractive women working full time as hotel maids is something of a stretch. Is there no one to work in Hawaii’s thriving Pog stores?!?

T&A Level:
Medium. This is a Hollywood movie about female surfers. And by that I mean it’s a girl party.

Stupidity of Main Characters:
Low. There’s kind of a Y.A. novel vibe to the whole thing.

Percentage of Above, On, and Under Water Photography:
Again, surfing. A good 70-75% of the scenes involve water somehow.

Shockingly Well-Crafted Sequence:
All of the surfing sequences are a blast to watch, especially the final tournament on the North Shore Pipeline. Bosworth’s CGI’d face over the real surfer is silly, though.

INTO THE BLUE

How Ludicrous is the Plot?:
Awesomely. Into the Blue’s story involves sunken pirate ships, treasure diving, cocaine smugglers, plane crashes, mobsters, shark attacks, and Josh Brolin.

T&A Level:
Relatively High. While watching this with The Old Lady, she observed: “this movie is all about Jessica Alba’s ass.” Take from that what you will.

Stupidity of Main Characters:
High. Especially Scott Caan’s spazzed out New Yawk lawyer. A guy intelligent enough to pass the New York bar is going to make these kinds of decisions? Really? Alba’s and Paul Walker’s duh-faced delivery doesn’t help, either. It’s hard to pin down just why the characters in this movie do what they do, but hey, that’s a big reason why it’s so entertaining.

Percentage of Above, On, and Under Water Photography:
For all the well-documented grief Spielberg had with Jaws and Cameron with The Abyss, Stockwell seems almost more at home in the ocean than anywhere else. About 85% of this movie takes place directly on or in water.

Shockingly Well Crafted Sequence:
Dumb fun stuff keeps this flick gleefully rolling along…but then from out of nowhere there’s a half-decent car chase. Where the hell did THAT come from?!?

TURISTAS

How Ludicrous is the Plot?:
Astronomically. SPOILERS: a group of white-bread backpacking tourists in Brazil get chased through the jungle and eventually are captured by a crime syndicate looking to harvest their internal organs. It could happen to you!! Believe it!!

T&A Level:
Very high. Wet/sweaty hotties and some mild nakedness abound.

Stupidity of Main Characters:
Hilariously high. Essentially, everyone in this movie is a complete idiot. So much so that when the stereotypical intelligent evil villain shows up, you kind of sympathize with him for having to exist in a world of utter dumbassery. Even though he’s insane.

Percentage of Above, On, and Under Water Photography:
A solid 40%. Leave it to Stockwell to find a place to fit in azure-crystal-blue underwater scenes even when the setting is the middle of a jungle. There’s also a beach party — an evil beach party!

Shockingly Well-Crafted Sequence:
The final scene that takes place in a series of caves is a very tense, sharply constructed, and superior set piece. That is not a joke. I’m telling you, this guy can deliver a good action sequence!

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