Seriously, there’s just no good way to take this.

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Came across these the other day whilst at Target. I wasn’t about to buy them, but I did find it intriguing that it looks like our kids are going to be growing up in a world where the movie versions of Hulk, Spider-Man, Iron Man, etc. might be marketed as their own ongoing brands, even when there’s no movie in theaters. I know the Hulk DVD is on it’s way, but the box packaging doesn’t seem to be mentioning it at all, so the tie-in is pretty vague at best.

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This past weekend, I gathered up The Family and went down to J-Town on a day-trip, to see the sights, maybe grab some food and do a little shopping. Whilst in the local Mitsuwa supermarket, I noticed a bag of chips of some kind that featured a rather familiar likeness. Seems that, much like his animated cousin (6 times removed), OJ Simpson’s likeness has been appropriated by by an Asian company to hock their goods! I’m sorry I didn’t get a better photo, but for some reason Asian markets and stores are extremely sensitive about anyone taking photos of any type in them, so you kind of have to snap them surreptitiously, often on the fly.

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The Games Without Frontiers blog makes a decent case for it…

Weight Watchers is an RPG.

Think about it. As with an RPG, you roll a virtual character, manage your inventory and resources, and try to achieve a goal. Weight Watchers’ points function precisely like hit points; each bite of food does damage until you’ve used up your daily amount, so you sleep and start all over again. Play well and you level up — by losing weight! And the more you play it, the more you discover interesting combinations of the rules that aren’t apparent at first. Hey, if I eat a fruit-granola breakfast and an egg-and-romaine lunch, I’ll have enough points to survive a greasy hamburger dinner for a treat!

Even the Weight Watchers web tool is amazingly gamelike. It has the poke-around-and-see-what-happens elegance you see in really good RPG game screens. Accidentally snack on a candy bar and ruin your meal plan for the day? No worries: Just go into the database and see what spells — whoops, I mean foods — you can still use with your remaining points.

Quick! Do a save throw for hot dogs!!

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Can these Mallow Fries (and Kandy Ketchup) has a flavor? Give me a few days to screw up the courage to brave some insta-cavities and I’ll let you know…

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You know, despite all the doom and gloom and anxiety going around these days, I’ll tell you guys one thing that’s been awesome: the rise of stupid, ironic canned beverages. You know what I’m talking about.

I dunno who started this whole thing, but after the success of the likes of Pimp Juice (legitimately supposed to taste kind of good — check out the ratings on BevNet) and whatnot, now we have the newly released Crunk!!! Citrus and, inevitably, Drank.

Admittedly, I’ve never even tried any of these things — but when something supposedly contains ingredients like the mystical “Ashwaganda” and enchanting “Horny Goat Weed,” you know it’s on.

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There’s a lot of quality viewage on the TV these days, but the show I’m really enjoying more than most others (after The Wire, R.I.P.) is one of the Cartoon Network’s newest non-Adult Swim offerings, Chowder.

The basic premise of Chowder involves the main character, a chubby and always hungry cat-ish kid, working as a disaster-prone apprentice of Mung Daal, a caterer in the bustling psychedelic metropolis of Marzipan City (the food-name gimmick isn’t as precious as it sounds…promise…). A large and engaging cast of characters and intricate, unpredictable screwball plotlines are the show’s other, um, essential ingredients.

Admittedly, with its bright, happy colors, food fixation, stoner humor, and overall fuzzy amiability, it’s kind of a hippie show. But then again, I’m kind of a hippie. So, keep that in mind.

Clever, weird, inventive, and unpretentious, Chowder builds and improves on the greatness of Spongebob Squarepants’s first few seasons the same way that show streamlined the bizarre brilliance of Kricfalusi-era Ren and Stimpy. Sharp, charming characterization; a colorful, surprising, fully-realized world; an artistic style that combines Dr. Seuss and Richard Scarry with three generations of kids cartoon animation; a loopy, funky soundtrack that epitomizes the warm goofiness of the show; a welcome attention to detail; and knowing shout-outs to random counter-culture touchstones like Katamari Damacy make for the best show about food on television besides Top Chef.

Chowder airs on Thursdays, I believe. Also, the show’s creator, C.H. Greenblatt, has a nice little blog.

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Annual best-food-chain-ever competitor Dunkin Donuts is giving out free donuts with a hot coffee tomorrow to “celebrate” Tax Day. Believe it.

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